Guidence on grief reactions following pet loss

For many people grief following the loss of a beloved pet can be overwhelming. The feelings you will or are experiencing are perfectly normal and to be expected. The reactions to and symptoms of pet grief vary from person to person but many are common to everyone who suffers the loss of a pet. Some common feelings are :

  • Shock
  • Anger
  • Guilt
  • Anxiety
  • Numbness
  • A feeling of helplessness
  • Sorrow
  • Despair
  • Relief (if a pet has been sick for some time)

In many cases people begin to question their sanity and wonder if what they are feeling is normal or whether they are over reacting. Please be assured that you are not ‘over reacting’, you are simply reacting in your own personal natural way to the loss of a dear friend and companion.

You may experience a grief process before the death of your pet. This is called ‘Anticipatory Grief’. This can occur when you are told or realise that your pet’s life is drawing to an end. Whilst illnesses and problems may be age related, they can occur at any stage in your pets life. Sometimes our pet can suffer an accident or be diagnosed with an incurable disease which will eventually make their quality of life become so poor that we have to consider euthanasia. Discussing your feelings and fears with a member of the veterinary team, support groups and close family or friends may help you through this difficult time.

There are various stages of grief many people experience. These are all normal reactions, understanding the stage may help you work though your own grieving process and help towards recovery and moving on. It may help you to know that you are not alone in your grief and that pet grief is natural and to be expected. Unfortunately in today’s society pet loss grief isn’t recognised the same as human grief/bereavement, especially in people who have never experienced a bond/attachment to a pet. Many people find themselves feeling alone, lost and subject to ridicule by non pet owners who simply do not understand the death of a pet is as real and devastating to you as the passing of a human loved one.

There are 5 stages of grief these are:

  • Denial, shock and numbness
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

It is always important to remember that these are general guidelines and each of us is unique in the way we will grieve for our pets. You may find yourself experiencing the phases and stage of grief in a completely different order to this or another person, this is completely normal. Your experience of grief may depend on your own personal circumstances or the circumstances surrounding the loss. Knowing the phases and guidelines may help you work though this different period and move on to recovery.

It will always be very painful and emotionally difficult when a beloved pet dies. Each one is unique in our hearts, but the love we have for them and from them makes it all so worthwhile and wonderful knowing that they were a part of our lives. Our best memorial to them is how we go on with the next chapter of our lives enriched by their love.

Remember that you are not alone in your grief. You may find talking though your experiences and feelings with a member of your veterinary team, pet loss support helplines, grief support websites and other people who have had similar experiences a great help and comfort to you.